


Upside Down

by SoloChaos



Series: Inside Out, Upside Down, and Rightside Up [2]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Not Really an Eating Disorder, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:10:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They haven't had sex yet.</p><p>Josh doesn't mind, of course. He doesn't want to do anything Tyler isn't comfortable with, isn't ready for.</p><p>He's just curious as to why Tyler never brings it up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Upside Down

**Author's Note:**

> Dear mynameislame,
> 
> ...sorry.

 

Josh doesn't think he'll ever get over the image of finding Tyler collapsed on the bathroom floor with his fingers down his throat.  
  
It took him a while to understand that it wasn't an eating disorder, or at least not in a traditional sense. Tyler didn't consider himself overweight or anything like that. It was just Tyler's version of harming himself.  
  
But things are okay now. Tyler's healing. There are some bad days, sure, days where nothing seems to go right and Josh finds Tyler hunched over a toilet. There are also some days where nothing goes right as well, but Tyler instead curls up on a bed and lets Josh hold him.  
  
There are also, of course, good days. Days where Tyler smiles and laughs and kisses Josh without fear of rejection. Josh loves those days.  
  
Josh just wishes that each day didn't need to be classified.

 

* * *

 

  
They haven't had sex yet.  
  
Josh doesn't mind, of course. He doesn't want to do anything Tyler isn't comfortable with, isn't ready for.  
  
He's just curious as to why Tyler never brings it up.

 

* * *

 

  
Josh is a little bit tipsy, and Tyler is pretty fucking drunk.  
  
They're both sprawled out on Tyler's hotel bed when Tyler rolls on top of Josh and kisses him hard.  
  
"We ever gonna fuck, Josh?" Tyler whispers, breath sour with the smell of liquor.  
  
Josh feels Tyler's hands on his belt buckle.  
  
"Tyler, stop," Josh says. "You're drunk."  
  
"So?" Tyler asks, but he lets go of Josh's belt in favor of leaning in and kissing Josh's neck.  
  
"I don't want our first time to happen while you're _drunk,"_ Josh says, squirming out from underneath Tyler.  
  
"Come on," Tyler says, slurring a little. "I know you want me."  
  
"Not like this, no," Josh says firmly, climbing out of the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
Leaving was probably the worst mistake he could make.

 

* * *

 

Tyler's pretty distant that next day, but Josh blames it on the hangover he's sure to have.  
  
He blames the vomiting on the hangover too.  
  
They don't share a bed that night.

 

* * *

  
  
"Tyler, what's wrong?" Josh asks the next morning. "Talk to me, please."  
  
"There's nothing wrong," Tyler says easily, subtly evading Josh's touch.  
  
The next day he finds Tyler on the bathroom floor with his fingers still down his throat.

 

* * *

  
  
"Tyler," he whispers, dropping to his knees beside his boyfriend.  
  
"Go away," Tyler mutters around fingers.  
  
"Not fucking likely," Josh says darkly, pulling Tyler's hand out of his mouth.  
  
Tyler isn't crying, but his eyes are wet as he viciously wipes his hand with a paper towel.  
  
"What brought this on?" Josh asks gently, taking the paper towel from Tyler and begins wiping his fingers much more gently.  
  
"Nothing," Tyler scowls, and tries to subtly wipe his eyes. Josh tosses the paper towel into the trash and tries to hug Tyler, but Tyler backs away.  
  
"What's wrong?" Josh asks, sitting down in front of Tyler.  
  
"Nothing," Tyler says, but he doesn't meet Josh's eyes.  
  
"Why won't you let me touch you?"  
  
"Because you obviously don't want me!" Tyler snaps, looking up.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Josh asks, startled by Tyler's sudden anger.  
  
"Why are you dating me, Josh?" Tyler asks. "Are we even dating? It's been nearly two months and you haven't even _mentioned_ sex."  
  
"I-" Josh tries to say, but Tyler's only getting warmed up.  
  
"I tried, Josh, I asked you for sex, but you clearly didn't want it. Am I really that disgusting? Why will you only kiss me? Why's kissing the only way you'll touch me like that?"  
  
"Ty-"  
  
"Do you even love me? Is this just you pitying me? Am I truly worthy of nothing but your pity?"  
  
"Listen-"  
  
"No, you listen to me! I'm not fragile, Josh, I'm not going to break. Throwing up isn't breaking, Josh. It's bending. So if you don't want me, tell me. I won't break."  
  
Tyler's shaking. Josh doesn't know if it's because of rage and fear.  
  
"I want you, Tyler," Josh says. Tyler snorts. "Really, I do. You just never brought up the subject of sex with me."  
  
"What, so it's _my_ fault now?" Tyler snaps.  
  
"Let me talk," Josh demands. "You never brought up the subject of sex, so I figured you weren't ready. I'll have sex with you if you ask, Tyler, but only when you're sober."  
  
Tyler sighs, fight draining out of him. "I got drunk for that purpose," he murmurs. "So I'd have the courage to ask you."  
  
"What were you afraid of?" Josh asks, slowly reaching for Tyler's hand.  
  
"That you'd say no," Tyler says, taking Josh's hand and holding it tight.  
  
"Tyler," Josh says, "I could never deny you anything."

 

* * *

  
  
They were both extraordinarily anxious for the next hotel night.  
  
But even though they're finally naked on a bed together, Josh still feels a little nervous.  
  
"Who's topping?" Josh asks as they take a break from kissing.  
  
Tyler looks nervous. "I was thinking you would," he says hesitantly. Josh watches, fascinated as Tyler licks his lips. "I... I want you inside me."  
  
All of Josh's breath seems to go  _whooshing_ out of his lungs.  
  
"Unless you don't want that. I mean, I guess I could top if you don't want-"  
  
"Shut up," Josh says. "That was the hottest thing you've ever said to me."  
  
"Oh," Tyler says.  
  
Josh leans in and kisses Tyler again, gently pressing him against the sheets. His hands move down Tyler's body as Tyler's arms pull Josh closer.  
  
"You're so beautiful," Josh murmurs, kissing Tyler's neck. Tyler groans a little and bucks up into Josh's stomach. "So gorgeous."  
  
Josh cuts himself off with a moan as Tyler wraps his legs around Josh's hips, friction making Josh shudder. "Fuck," he groans, going back to Tyler's neck.  
  
"Fuck," Tyler echoes, starting to shift his hips a little faster, precome rubbing against Josh's stomach. _"Shit,_ Josh..."  
  
Josh continues to lick and suck Tyler's neck while Tyler continues to rut against Josh's stomach, pressing his ass against Josh's dick.  
  
"Love you," Josh whispers before moving down to Tyler's collarbone.  
  
"Love you," Tyler says, before _"Fuck!"_ and coming all over Josh's stomach.  
  
They both pause.  
  
"Did you seriously just..."  
  
Tyler blinks innocently. "Um. No?"  
  
"Okay, just-" Josh wets his hand with Tyler's come and wraps it around his dick, jerking only a few times before coming.  
  
"Shit," Tyler says, looking awed.  
  
"What?" Josh is having a bit of difficulty thinking.  
  
"You just jerked yourself off with my... my _come."_ Tyler's voice cracks on the last word.  
  
"Yeah," Josh says. Duh.  
  
Tyler watches, wide-eyed, as Josh absentmindedly brings his hand up and causally licks.  


"Holy shit." Tyler looks absolutely shocked.  
  
"What?" Josh asks, before realizing. "Oh, um. Does this gross you out? Sorry, dude."  
  
"No," Tyler says, and Josh is pretty sure he feels Tyler's dick twitch. "No, that was... that was hot."  
  
"Do you want to try?" Josh hold out his hand.  
  
Tyler looks a little dubious, but leans in and wraps his mouth around Josh's fingers, and oh fuck Josh wishes he could get hard again.

 

* * *

  
  
Sex, unfortunately, does not fix everything.

 

* * *

  
  
Josh didn't mean to yell. He really, really didn't.  
  
But _God,_ everything seemed to be going wrong that day.  
  
Josh has spilled coffee on himself and he's lost his favorite shoes and one of his sticks broke and he's fighting a cold and he tripped and cut his hand and his little sister is sick and they couldn't stop for lunch and he hasn't showered in days...  
  
But he didn't mean to yell at Tyler.  
  
He really didn't.  
  
With a frustrated groan, he hauls himself off the bus's sofa and out to find Tyler.

 

* * *

  
  
Thankfully, Josh doesn't find Tyler in bathroom stall. He finds him in a Starbucks nursing a cup of coffee.  
  
"I'm sorry," Josh says, even though it's a stupid apology. Tyler just holds his hand.  
  
Josh thinks that they've come a long way.

 


End file.
